is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
