32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
