i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
