So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
