Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
