"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
