Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
