The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
