just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
