Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
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