gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
only you would photoshop your dick
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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