I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
