Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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