why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
