I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
kristin has been a bad kristin
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
