First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
