will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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