Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
