if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I intend to get homeless drunk
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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