I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
