Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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