belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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