between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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