I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
