Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
