I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
