On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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