Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
