I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
