Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
