Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
