it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
