I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
