I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
