his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
