so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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