foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
