You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize