Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
