is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize