I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
