if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
