she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
