i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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