Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
