some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
