Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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