does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize