so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
