I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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