Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Can Purell be used as lube?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We have started to decorate penises.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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