I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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