A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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