I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
