Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
