You're so nebulous sometimes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
