My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
