woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
