we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
